If you enjoy being yelled at, you might be a candidate for parenthood.

Ask your doctor if parenthood is right for you.

Apple Music still doesn’t have 💩 on Pandora for radio stations. It’s not even close.

Both children have refused to eat meat at dinner and are only acquiescing to eating a corn dog because they’re veggie corn dogs.

Just had to tell my kids to stop eating so much salad so they’ll have room for pizza.


When we’re playing Zelda and encounter a chuchu, the 2-year-old yells, “TOO TOO DELLY!” (Chuchu jelly.) It’s the cutest thing ever.

The 5-yr-old:

8:15 pm: “I never go to sleep until the middle of the night!”

8:30 pm:

Ordering BBQ last night:

Waiter: “What would you like?”
The 5-yo: “Ribs! I like to study bones. I’m going to be a scientist.”
Waiter: 😯

The 2-year-old is convinced that the white hairs appearing in my beard mean I’m turning into a ghost. 👻👻👻

Since I haven’t seen anyone say it overtly: Apple better make Siri not suck before HomePod ships. Because right now? Totally sucks.

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