Today was Sunday, which we billed as Sunday Funday. Kids didn’t have to do school work. We did a few chores, but we kept it to the basics. No massive cooking projects. A movie and popcorn this afternoon. Frito pie for dinner. My wife spent most of the day sewing.

Despite my best efforts to do something different, I spent the day doomscrolling the news on Twitter and elsewhere.

This was a stupid waste of time.

I know this, and yet I keep doing it. Did I learn anything that’s going to meaningfully change the way we do things over the next three weeks? No. Not at all. Did I further instill a feeling of Nameless Dread in myself? Yup. Sure did.

It’s hard to look away. The tick tick tick of the real time stock market numbers. The endless stream of reactions to our federal government’s lack of action. The brainless daily press conferences that continue to prioritize corporations over people. It never changes, but the omnipresent horror of it all fills your vision from top to bottom, left to right. It builds a home in your brain.

I think part of me keeps watching because I’m waiting for the whole thing to hit bottom, but the bottom never comes. It will one day–things can only get so bad. But over the course of my life I’ve never seen a societal decline in America as sharp as this one persist for so long. I suppose that makes me lucky.

Tomorrow we return to our weekday routine of home schooling, food prep, and work. Those things should provide ample distraction (I hope).