Wife and I just packed a lunch for our kid’s first day of kindergarten.

Having a WTF moment.

My kids have started putting their leftover pizza on my plate.

Can’t tell if this is a win or not.

My kid put on her potty watch tonight, pressed one of the buttons, and said, “Timer for 30 minutes.”

Potty watch does not have Siri.

I’m on our back porch, and there are coyotes going insane in the distance.

Driving to Walgreens yesterday, two deer ran in front of my car.

Small towns are weird.

Wrote a complicated find-and-replace regex. Ran it. It worked the first time.

ಠ_ಠ

Me, to my kid’s teacher: “I don’t know why she’s yelling TINY RICK that’s so weird wonder what that means 🤔.”

Why is there a half-eaten apple in the bathroom trash can oh right I have kids never mind

Oldest daughter is a big fan of pizza with pineapple.

I’m okay with this.