Statuses

Strange pastime of mine: maintaining a playlist of cover songs and their original versions.

I never want to hear or read another word by Chris Cillizza ever again. Please send him back to social media where he belongs.

Getting older means that the artists in your iTunes library slowly end up dead.

Trader Joe’s Candy Cane Green Tea is too good for this world.

Die Hard is a Christmas movie.

Also?

Ghostbusters II is a New Year’s movie.

Heard in the kitchen: “SO MUCH GLITTERRRRRR!”

Me: [lights the nearest curtain on fire]

Christmas in Hollis is the best Christmas song. Fight me.

2020 resolution: never look up a recipe on the internet.

Online recipes are a cesspool of pointless family stories and people begging for you to sign up for their newsletter so they can tell you pointless family stories.

By the time I’m 57, everything I say will be a reference to a pop culture property. 96% of those references will be to the first 8 seasons of the Simpsons.

It’s that kind of evening.